I am tired of wanting more
Mitski said “I am a forest fire, I am the forest, I am the fire, I am the witness watching it”A sentiment dealing close to heart when I rebel in outrage when I am tired of fighting, wanting to take what the world has to offer but settling for less than a quarter of it.
A want to gather my sweetest belongings into a vintage suitcase and leave everything behind while also feeling attached to everything I have ever owned.
A thought daughter, one who feels so intensely but in which all feelings are overwhelmed by anger and situational grief.
Settling is so hard, everything I have ever wanted is so achievable on the tip of my fingers every day.
Yet, I can’t gather my goals together, I am not the fire. I am only the forest and the witness.
The fire is the world around me that never gives, only takes.
The fire is the silence that walks around the hallways.
The fire is the broken eye contact between family.
The fire is the first birthday text never sent from an old friend.
The fire is the feeling of watching of understanding, a feeling of empathy.