my last letter to you.

I’ve read all of your letters, over and over again. I wasn't sure if I would respond. I am still not sure if I should ever. I may never want to interfere with your ongoing journey. I think the difficulty of this event has forced me to take a step back. I cannot communicate how I want to therefore, I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t at all. I am beginning to devote my writings to you, that simply defeats the purpose of my work. It is so strange knowing someone so deeply and yet having the hardest time communicating.

I miss you, that only makes things worse. I couldn’t answer your thoughts of future friendships, I feel as of now that is not an option as it is not a possible thought. I long for the day we are healed and happy but if I were to bump into you at some point now. I would only be at a loss for words.

I’m quite honestly so delighted with watching you experience life. With pride, comes a bit of jealousy. The wishes of doing it with you, yet I am so glad you’re doing this on your own, that is what we both needed. We also need distance. May this be my last letter to you, not about you. I hope you continue this process, I am eager for it.